Getting drunk is a bad look - pudgy cheeks, broken heels, mascara smudged from crying, fights on the pavement with boyfriend...So let's get back our dignity. From the realistic to the ridiculous, here are a just a few little tricks from Wine Woman & Song.
Wine Tastings
Spit or swallow? Always spit. It can be intimidating enough without looking like an amateur. Anyway, you generally get a glass (or two or three) at the end.
Sparkling Mineral Water
For every glass of alcohol, drink one glass of sparkling mineral water in between. Not tap water; it must be San Pellegrino or one of those Italian sparkling mineral waters - San Pellegrino has more calcium in it than milk (a tip from Vicki Vasarelli, winemaker in McLaren Vale).
Where there are trays of drinks
Be careful when drinking from a waiter's tray at large events. A friend and I were doped this way and it WAS NOT FUN. Always watch the drink be poured if someone buys you a drink.
Only drink Champagne
Drink quality, not quantity. I know, I know this is an ideal situation.
Vodka
Vodka is the cleanest drink you can buy at the bar. Your head will thank you the next day.
Beer before Wine, makes you feel fine...
For the least tragedy the order goes: beer, champagne/champagne cocktails, white wine, red wine, spirits/cocktails, shots...er, if you must.
Shots
Personally, as soon as the sambuca is lined up on the bar, I know it's time to call a cab. One too many bad experiences. Anyway, it's pretty tacky. Who still gets excited by that? Ugh. But I do love my tequila...
Martini
One - you are life of the party; two - you are under the table; three - you're under the host. Four - you are under the weather: you won't be seeing much of the next day except the toilet bowl, Im fraid.
Play your own cards
Remember these tips. Then do it again!
BTW - for anyone who thought I was going to give BJ tips from the title of this blog, sorry. They are top secret :)
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