Theory of Capacity by Len Evans

The Len Evans
THEORY OF CAPACITY

1. There is an awful lot of wine in the world, but there is also a lot of awful wine.

2. No sensible person drinks to excess. Therefore any one person can drink only a certain predictable amount.

3. There are countless flavours, nuances, shades of wine; endless varieties, regions, styles. You have neither the time nor the capacity to drink them all.

4. To make the most of the time left to you, you must start by calculating your future capacity. One bottle of wine a day is 365 bottles a year. If your life expectancy is another thirty years, there are only 10,000-odd bottles ahead of you.

5. People who say, “You can’t drink the good stuff all the time” are talking rubbish. You must drink good stuff all the time. Every time you drink a bottle of inferior wine it’s like smashing a superior bottle against the wall. The pleasure is lost forever. You can’t get the bottle back.

6. There are people who build up huge cellars, most of which they have no hope of drinking. They are foolish in overestimating their capacity, but they err on the right side and their friends love them.

7. There are also people who don’t want to drink good wine and are happy with the cheapies. I forgive them. There are others who are content with beer and spirits. I can’t worry about everybody.

8. Wine is not meant to be enjoyed merely for its own sake, it is the key to love and laughter with friends, to the enjoyment of food and beauty and humour and art and music. It rewards us far beyond its cost.

9. What part is wine of your life? Ten per centum? Then ten per centum of your income should be spent on wine.

10. The principles of the theory should be applied to other parts of life. A disciple of the theory kissed a beautiful young lady, who demurred. He was aghast and said, “Don’t get the wrong idea. I’ve worked out that I can make love only another 1,343 times… and I’m bloody sure I’m not wasting one on you.”


RIP Len (1930-2006)